


Union

by schwertlilie



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, Kink Meme, Multi, Politics, Speculation, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-22
Updated: 2010-07-22
Packaged: 2017-10-10 18:05:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/102566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schwertlilie/pseuds/schwertlilie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their bosses decide that Canada and the USA should become one country, and everyone has something to say about it - including the nations themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Union

"We're keeping my banking system," Matthew said.

Alfred blinked. "But mine's huge, and it'll take forever to merge all those banks together."

"My banks were also the only ones to make money during the recession, or have you already forgotten?"

"Oh, right." Alfred made a note on his papers. "I'll discuss it. Have the Maritimes decided yet?"

Matthew sighed, rubbed his forehead. He'd expected the moving to be the hard part, though the House their governments were building would be big enough for all of the states and provinces to ignore each other, if they wanted to. It was one thing to put up with Al's stuff on his floor for a few days, another to deal with it for years. At least his boss had ordered separate bathrooms for them... But this part? With the negotiations and side-deals? This was infinitely worse.

"Nova Scotia's not giving me an answer until his referendum is over. Considering what happened the last time he was in negotiations, I can't say I blame him. Prince Edward Island is in, and New Brunswick has agreed on the condition that we keep French as an official language."

"We already agreed that states and provinces will keep whatever was passed into law before the Union, as long as it doesn't contradict anything national."

"No, as a federal language."

Again, Alfred paused, then shook his head. "No way. Things get too complicated when government is speaking in more than one language."

"My Parliament always did well, and the United Nations gets on easily enough."

"But the United Nations doesn't do anything, and look where your government got you."

Matthew forced himself not to grind his teeth. "Recognition of minorities is not what 'got me' into this Union. Our bosses proposed it because we're so economically involved, _not_ because either of us is a failed state."

"Well, 1775..." Alfred grinned.

That was it. "It's Quebec's condition as well - no assimilation. And by the way? We're supporting Texas' motion that Spanish be added as a third federal language." He dropped his papers into his briefcase. "See you tomorrow, South."

"Matthew, wait up-"

~ ~ ~

Nova Scotia glowered at them. "I'm not giving up my milk quotas. Or price controls."

Ontario nodded. "And I won't accept it if you start putting those weird supplements in my food. We don't need to feed our kids growth hormones."

Alfred spread his hands, and Matthew knew he'd get to deal with the two provinces. Wonderful. "James, Ian, we haven't made any decisions about agricultural integration yet."

Ian huffed. "Why do you think we're here? If waited until you'd decided, it'd be too late."

"Especially considering your grand traditions of only listening to certain select minorities when you make those decisions." James glanced at Ian. "No offence, Ontario."

"None taken, Bluenoser."

"And it's not just about agriculture. It's about not getting our own economies screwed over when Mr Free Market Capitalist over there decides to impose his structure on us."

"Economic discussions are on-going." Matthew tried to smile. "But we'll all have to make compromises."

"I'm not compromising on price controls. Do you have any ideas how many people will be out of work if some big farm starts flooding my market with cheap milk? May as well get rid of universal health care."

Alfred coughed. "Nationalised health care was Canada's third condition, and we passed it."

Ontario shook his head. "James' point still stands. Confederation was bad enough, though I admit Sir John A didn't help. We don't want this to set up another hundred and fifty years of bitterness. We've had enough of that." At Matthew's raised eyebrow, he fidgeted. "I don't just represent Toronto, you know."

"Well," Matthew said, "at least we aren't being led by an alcoholic this time."

He and the provinces tried not to laugh at Alfred's confused expression.

~ ~ ~

 

"What is it with you and languages, Matt? Isn't everything easier when everyone speaks the same language?"

"Easier doesn't always mean better, Al." He took a breath, looked up at the stars. Even when they weren't in meetings, the Union was so much a part of their peoples' discussions, their thoughts, that the two of them couldn't just be Al and Matt - everything turned back to the Union. Not until this thing was settled, one way or another. "You started as a group of English colonies, fought to become an independent English nation- let me finish! You've gotten a lot more diverse since then, but you're a melting pot, and all your people are Americans.

"But me, I started as a mix of English and French colonies, who mostly kept their treaties with my Native peoples. Sort of. England pulled some bad shit, but I didn't wage war on my Natives specifically. So I had many, many peoples before I had independence. And today, I'm made of French-Canadians and Ukrainian-Canadians and Indo-Canadians and everything else, not just 'Canadians.' And it's not just language, it's culture and stories and dialogues. Pisses some people off right fierce, I know, but that's how I am and I'm not willing to give that up."

Al drummed his fingers on the railing. "You haven't quite got it, about me. I have my Little Italies and K-Towns too, but I'm divided along different lines than you are. My dialogues are about race, which you think is some kind of dirty word, not individual heritage. The Civil Rights movements of the '50s and '60s were a fight to bring non-majority discussions _to_ the majority, and we're still working on it. Yeah, mine mostly just call themselves 'Americans,' but it means they can connect to a dream that bridges all those communities in a more significant way than 'We're not Canadian.'"

"Touché."

A pause, then Al sighed. "Whatever. The people want more job creation, so let's create some translation jobs. I assume you'll want all official announcements and suchlike in all three languages?"

He smiled at the sky. "More if possible. Don't you have a lot of Chinese on the west coast?"

"Greedy guts."

"Absolutely."

~ ~ ~

"Goddamnit, why is this so difficult?" Alfred looked at their table full of notes and calculations. "The Italies did this, England and his brothers did this, why can't we figure this out? Ten hours of running numbers through calculators to figure out representation, and adding seats, and staring at paper because this isn't fucking working!" Their bosses wanted them to keep the Congress and (the United States') Senate, because certain persons believed the American public would have more difficulty with Canada's system, and said that it was easier to re-educate 30 million than 300 million people. Certain Canadians had agreed, planning to trade it for other concessions.

But... Alfred looked at the table, smiled. "Help me clean these up?"

"No problem." The piles were quickly turned into a stack. "Want to go get supper?"

"In a sec." Alfred took the papers, flipped through them to make sure nothing important had been mixed in, and walked over to the fireplace. He placed the papers in the grate, then lit a match.

"Al?"

"Just a second." He dropped the lit match on the papers, stepped back to watch them burn.

"What- What are you doing? We spent all day on those!"

Alfred smiled at him. "We're making something new here, bigger than both of us. Why not make our government something new too?"

"But our bosses..."

"Just a suggestion for them, Matt. Let them decide if they want to give it a try."

Within an hour, they had a roughed out proposal: a three-level system, with the provinces-states-territories keeping their own legislatures, North and South Union each keeping their House of Commons and House of Representatives (with greatly reduced powers) for local issues, and a bicameral Continental Congress. Matthew joked that Quebec was only two hundred and fifty years late to its invitation, and Alfred thought this would answer the people who worried about keeping regional identities. They even included procedures for adding other Houses of Commons-type groupings - the former Confederate states might appreciate the option, as might the mid-west - and adding other countries to the Union. Matthew made an argument for a position to take on the ceremonial duties of Head of State, so that their President could stick to the business of running the new country. Not an original system, or completely new, but also not an attempt to shoehorn a second country into a system designed for thirteen colonies.

It passed with minor revisions, powers of the houses to be decided later. Between themselves and their bosses, they decided that for simplicity Alfred will represent the Union internationally, while Matthew filled in for him domestically. They were both happy with the arrangement; Alfred knew he was the more visible of the two, and Matthew's spine was always better used at home - it took a certain kind of steel to keep a viciously regional country from tearing itself apart.

~ ~ ~

The Netherlands cornered him at his last world meeting as Canada. "Why are you doing this, Matthew? You've been doing so well, with gay marriage and medical marijuana and general liberalness, and you're getting in bed with _Alfred_? Don't misunderstand me, Alfred is allowed to be Alfred, but I thought you had better taste."

"It's not about taste, it's about economic efficiency."

"You're already sounding like the capitalist," Cuba said from behind the Netherlands' shoulder. "What're we supposed to do without you to rein in his stupidity?"

Matthew felt his mouth quirk. "You're talking like I'm going to die."

"Aren't you?" Cuba waved his cigar. "We both know the bastard overruns everything he gets his hands on, and since you're only a tenth his size..."

"It's a union, not a takeover. I'll still be the North, and he'll still be the South, like with the Italies. But the Union was announced ages ago, why wait this long to talk to me about it?"

They looked at each other. "I thought it was a joke," the Netherlands said.

"I didn't think you'd be that stupid."

Matthew shrugged. "Well, it's a bit late now. But if you're so worried, consider this an open invitation to come visit once the merger's finished. There'll still be tulips to see and maple syrup to smuggle back home."

"And the others?" Cuba asked.

"What others?"

"England, France, Russia, everyone else. They didn't have much to say after your little announcement today."

"Because they've said it all already. Reactions seem to vary between 'Poor Matthew' and 'At least he'll keep Alfred in line now.'" Matthew snorted. "No one seems to think _I'll_ benefit from this, oh no. At the very _least_ this'll stop us from fighting over my North-West Passage and water rights."

The Netherlands developed a coughing fit, and Cuba turned away, hand over his mouth.

Matthew sighed. "Idiots."

~ ~ ~

Matthew and Alfred stood near the front of the ceremony, facing the audience as their old bosses signed the paper that joined them together, and their new boss took her oath of office. They'd sign the paper too, later, with their new names, and the states-territories-provinces under them (they'd never been able to agree on what to call them). Newfoundland sat in the gallery with the other invited nations; surprisingly, he was the only one to opt-out of the Union (though there were several betting pools about how long Quebec would last), and had petitioned England to be allowed to re-join the Commonwealth as an independent nation. England had granted it, and in the same motion extended Canada's Commonwealth status to all the citizens of the Union. "Consider it a birthday present," he'd said.

Alfred fidgeted with the edge of his suit, wishing he had his bomber jacket. He wouldn't re-stitch the numbers, though - he and Matthew were two parts of a whole, now, and you didn't just assume representation of your partner's lands. "Why does it feel like we're getting married?" he whispered.

"I don't know, maybe because we have wedding rings now?" Matthew softened the snark with a smile.

"I mean, a full high church wedding, not just a trip to the courthouse."

"Don't worry sweetie, I won't be offended if you continue to court Russia and England so long as I get to be the one to 'negotiate' with Cuba."

"I'm not- Wait. Isn't that the type of thing you should tell me before getting hitched?"

"You didn't tell me about your on-again off-again with Belarus."

"She's Belarus!" he hissed. "She isn't still a communist dictatorship!"

Matthew hummed non-committally.

Alfred pouted, but a shuffling among their charges drew his eye. He elbowed Matt, tipped his head toward the sixty-two standing off to the side. "Can you see?"

He looked, smiled. "Yeah."

The planners had put thought into the location of every vase, wary of offending any part of this suddenly-huge country, let alone the locations of the personifications. They'd settled on rows, grouping them by region of origin and in an order drawn out of a hat - the former Canadians were to be in a line, with New England behind them, the Deep South behind that, and so on. But the personifications had evidentially decided to ignore their instructions, moving around until the lines were ragged and uneven, and pretending they didn't see the glares the planners were giving them. Massachusetts, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, and Maine were in a small group, holding hands and smiling; Quebec bumped shoulders with Ohio and Louisiana, Labrador leaning against her legs; and Alberta had draped himself over Texas.

"This'll all work out, won't it?" Matthew murmured.

"You bet," he said, and squeezed Matthew's hand.

~ ~ ~

It wasn't even a month later that Matthew stood, arms crossed, looking down at his partner. "We need some rules around here."

"Like what?" Alfred blew a bubble with his gum, hid a smile when Matthew's jaw twitched.

"I don't care who you have relations with so long as it's in line with our foreign policy, but you need to put a sock on the door when you're using the bedroom for sex. Or any room, for that matter. I did _not_ need to know how much musket can fit up Switzerland's ass. Oh, and change the sheets, because I just know I'll end up sleeping on someone else's wet spot, which is disgusting. I know you've been rebelling against Arthur since, well, you rebelled, but being a slob really isn't the way to do it, and-"

"Love you too, Mattie."

Matthew cut off, gaping at him like he'd grown another head, and Alfred took the opportunity to slip past him, patting his shoulder as he went. Given the level of confusion, he had about a minute to get out of the house before all hell broke loose. He wasn't running away - heroes didn't run! - but a strategic retreat was in order whenever Matt got in one of those moods. Hopefully when he came back with food in, say, an hour, Matt'd accept his burger-apology. And maybe hang his _own_ sock outside whenever Ukraine came to visit. Yeesh.

**Author's Note:**

> 1) The United States does _not_ currently have a national official language, though different states have different laws. Given that there are nearly as many Spanish-speakers in the US as there are Canadians total, I thought that the two would unite to pass multiple official language laws.
> 
> 2) Why Newfoundland going independent instead of Quebec? Quebec's economy is more integrated with the rest of the continent, for better or for worse, and it's geographically surrounded. Newfoundland, on the other hand, remembers independence, could easily replace its continental trade with international, and has the most eastern port of North America. The question, though, is how long Quebec would remain once it realised it was no longer a big fish in a small pond.
> 
> 3) In real life, the United States is eligible for Commonwealth membership (being a former British colony and all), it's just not interested in joining; the "birthday gift" of membership is intended as a gift to Matthew and a shot at Alfred. ~~Matthew got his passive-aggressive from _somewhere_, after all.~~
> 
> 4) North and South Union share a bedroom and a bed, per orders of their bosses; whether they "sleep together" in more than the literal sense is up to the readers to decide. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/13125.html?thread=30880325#t30880325).


End file.
